Something sad.

It's hard to describe, but being around Art lately has been really sad for both of us. Watching him grow up from a baby to a walking thinking toddler has been a joy. He could get absorbed with an object, and idea, or us. But in the past couple weeks it seems as though he's become more self aware, and experiments with his boundaries with less reservation. He'll hit Lewis, make noises he knows are too loud, or talk in nonsense words and dance around when we ask him to get dressed or brush his teeth. Giving him a time-out or getting mad with him confuses him, even scares him. It's almost like something takes him over and he doesn't know what he's doing. And by the time he realizes it it's too late, Lewis has been hit or his chance to go to the zoo is past. And he cries really hard and in a way that's especially heartbreaking. Jess and I just had a good little cry about it. Right now it seems like something wonderful about Art has been lost forever. In time I know things will change again, but right now it's sad.