This sucks.

It's barely 6am and I've been up for an hour.  Doing what?  Being crabby.  If I knew that waking up with Lewis at 5, 4:30, 4am would mean I got to finish "work" earlier I probably wouldn't be so crabby right now, but we all know that's not how it works.  I'm still going to be working at my job until 8pm.  And even after 8pm I'll still be on call all night. 

Many of these super early-rise mornings have been quite productive for me.  I've made bread, I'll empty the dishwasher or clean something else, sometimes I watch a show...  But today I'm just pissed.  If I'm going to wake up this early I want it to be to do something just for me!  Like exercise or meditate or read.  Waking up two hours before anyone else in the house just os I can do more of what I do all day long feels like punishment.  I'm tired and almost, just almost able to resist smiling at Lewis, the smiliest baby in the world.